i've been over this again and again and again. so why does it seem like the first time all over? why does it feel like the pain is getting worse? alright my heart cannot take this anymore. i have wasted too much time, cried too many tears and yet still have not learned my lesson. my heart is so tired of hiding i don't think it has the strength it takes to beat any longer. ive been playing this sick game for far too long. i dont care if it's justifiable, i want to end this facade. i want my heart on the table even if it doesnt give me the reaction i want. even if i stutter clumsily and make a fool of myself. it would be better this.
and even if by some flat out miracle i said the right words and got the desired reaction...i know in my heart my glee would only be temporary. this is a lose, lose situation for me. and that's the damn truth.
song of the day-tomorrow never knows (the beatles)
ohhh marin, i love you.
ReplyDeletethe games aren't worth it, and i know you know that. you deserve the BEST, just like we discussed.
xoxox love you!!
i know you feel. my whole life i've faced rejection a lot of games from people, constantly over my whole life. the only thing that truly counts is God in the end, and that's hard to accept. just now after many years have i come to really give me life over to Jesus. i still hurt, but feeling is the way to life. feeling happy. feeling sad. but anyways, feel better and you will be in my prayers for whatever is happening.
ReplyDelete