whawhawhawhawhat?

GAH! Red Cedar Ransom was incredible. I am so in love with this new dance form(for me) that I can't even begin to describe this feeling. All I can say is that God has blessed me beyond belief.

Oh and shout out to Blakey! Woot Woot!!! Love you man.

all i can say is that there are times i don't know if i will ever get over my foolishness. i'm sick of making the same mistakes and then crawling back on my hands and knees to my Abba. i so desperately want to stop this selfish, sick game i play. when will i be able to overcome myself?

"i am so easily satisfied with the call of lovers so less wild."

i can watch the sunset on my own

i guess i'm one of those friends who never has a significant other. it's always been this way and it's okay now that i am so much more mature. in high school i remember praying for a boyfriend. i wanted one more than anything else in the whole world. in my heart i believed that i'd only be happy if a boy loved me. it tortured me to see my friends with their boyfriends, it was almost physically painful. i look back on that and am so grateful i wised up. i was yearning for love and approval from the wrong source. that's when i got in a terrible relationship. it makes me sick to think about it. it saddens me that i had to royally screw up before realizing what is right but i am thankful that today i have my head screwed on properly. at this point in my life i feel so different. i am constantly changing, thinking, feeling, growing, realizing...and i almost feel like anything romantic is the least beneficial thing i could be doing at this point. i want to discover what God wants for me. yeah, maybe an awesome guy could be a great partner in figuring that out but i just don't feel like that's good thinking. at least for me. i feel like i'm in a time of my life where i need to figure things out by myself.

also....i feel like i'm that piece in a huge puzzle that doesn't seem to match any others pieces. not that i think i'm the shit but that i don't think ive ever met someone truly like me. it's hard to explain. it's just that i feel like there are so many parts of me, so many personalities, opinions...hell even paradoxes in me that i couldn't POSSIBLY be ONE person. i'm such a chameleon. if i'm around my family i'm one person, if i'm around my dance friends i'm another....high school friends, class friends....even when i'm by myself i can be so different from one moment to the next and the weird thing is that all those versions of me ARE the real me. how am i supposed to find someone who can agree to be with the huge mess i am? ha only God knows. all i can say is that i'm happy right now being single and loving God. All I need are friends and family. but i'm still ever so curious and excited to meet my other puzzle piece.

omegle.com is amazing

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: omfg
Stranger: im pregnant
You: me tooo!!!!!
Stranger: no way
You: its your baby!
Stranger: i thought he pulled out
Stranger: OHMYGOD
Stranger: NO WAY
You: i KNEW youd act like this
You: TYPICAL
Stranger: i cant have a kid now
Stranger: im not mature enought
Stranger: enough*
You: well then you shouldve pulled out
Stranger: and by mature, i mean i have to have more sex
Stranger: with strangers
You: dear GOD this is wierd
You: you were my first
Stranger: i popped your cherry?
Stranger: this is awkward
You: and by that i mean you popped my omegle.com cherry
You: so yes
Stranger: im so sorry
You: i mean......
Stranger: i thought you werent a omegle virgin
Stranger: im just ugh
Stranger: idkkk
Stranger: idk
Stranger: what am i supposed to tell my parents
You: hahah
You: well tell them hand in hand
You: dont worry
Stranger: i bet its not mine
You: oh so now ima omegle.com whore
You: thankssssssss
Stranger: i think so
Stranger: maybe you shouldnt have spread those omegle legs
You: you have no such evidence
Stranger: what about those strangers you talk to?
You: of what my legs do
Stranger: HMM?!
You: said the stranger............
You: BOO YAAAAA
Stranger: oh so now you DONT know me?
You: listen, it says stranger as your name
Stranger: idk idk
Stranger: now youve become a stranger to me
You: that was a slap to the omegle face
You: i just said "stranger" as a nickname of sorts
Stranger: no no no
Stranger: its fine
Stranger: obviously being the one who fertilized this omegle baby
Stranger: doesnt count
You: thats not as catchy as stranger
You: i bet youre the omegle whore anyway
You: you sound like youve been around the block
Stranger: so now im a whore?
Stranger: ima appalled
You: YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
You: .......................jk
You: ill just call you baby daddy
Stranger: YOU SHUT THOSE LEGS OMEGLE WHORE
Stranger: lmfao
Stranger: baby mommy
Stranger: ugh
You: where you from
Stranger: cali
Stranger: son
You: wow this is gonna be a long distance relationship
You: as long as i get my child support!
Stranger: who said you were gonna keep it?
You: who said you could tell me what to do?
You: SON.
Stranger: um obviously
Stranger: im paying for this bastard child
You: im BARING this bastard child
You: bearing??
You: whatevs
Stranger: so?
You: so youre gonna have to financially suffer
You: cause i will physically suffer
You: its the way it works home boy
Stranger: you know what
Stranger: i NEVER touched you
Stranger: ever
You: thats it im taking it to maury
You: "you ARE the father"
Stranger: lmfao
Stranger: omg
Stranger: are you from ontd?
You: whats that
Stranger: ohhh...
Stranger: i DEFINITELY didnt touch you
You: ???????????????????
You: ????????????????

a picture of you on a perfect day

a picture of you in a time of your life that's over, and you are so thankful it is

a picture of you at a time in your life that's over but you wish it wasn't

a picture of you that makes you proud

a picture you actually really like of yourself

a picture of you showing off a new haircut

a picture of you with someone you admire and look up to

a picture of you incredibly sick/ a picture of you, you wish never existed

a picture of you meeting someone who can only bring joy and happiness to this world

a picture of you with a hangover

a picture of you at a time you don't want to remember

a picture of you being completely ridiculous in public

a picture of you when you were a different person from who you are now

a picture of you in complete contentment

a picture of you desperately trying to hide your braces

a picture of you that makes your heart hurt in the good way

a picture of you wanting to be anywhere else

save me

I need to get as far away from this as possible. Sometimes I just don't think the good ol' USA is for me... Oh Lord, I need a change.